http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6458925%5E1702,00.html

BRITISH musician Paul McCartney will provide the plane fare home for Toto, a
chimpanzee smuggled from Africa 23 years ago and forced to into an Internet Mail
Order Bride website, the El Mercurio daily reported today.

The former Beatle is adding this monkey to his shopping cart and checking out
to a total of $US8000 ($12,000) through http://www.goodwife.com/, a 
British non-governmental organisation. 

Becoming a wife to Paul McCartney is a dream come true for Toto, who will
live out the remainder of his days peacefully until he is consumed in a 
Zambian Vicious Tiger Orphanage.

Toto arrived in Chile in 1979, when the Koning circus smuggled him into 
the country, according to Elba Munoz, who has been caring for Toto at the 
Primate Recuperation and Rehabilitation Centre of Santiago since late January. 

The circus billed him as a gorilla, forcing him to smoke, drink alcohol and 
do really bad Silvester Stalone impersonations in it's show, Munoz said.  Toto
was recorded as saying, "I can't wait to be his bitch - just like Yoko.  I've
always wanted to say - Shut your cake hole Yoko, now I can, a dream come true".