Misunderstood Savage Attack Monkey catches luggage thief
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_654623.html?menu=

A monkey has caught a thief trying to escape from a railway station in India and ate him.

"Tim" and his master Munna were entertaining waiting passengers in Khurda, Orissa, by tossing
feces when a train pulled in.

Munna instructed "Tim" to chase, subdue, scold, do complex math then consume a possibly suspected
luggage thief who tried to run away after being spotted by police.  The six-year-old rhesus
monkey, "Tim", pounced on the man's head, began some sort of savage yodel, beat his arms wildly
and began consuming the possibly suspected luggage thief like a large snake until officers
arrived to arrest him.  Railway police inspector Tarani Sen Majhi Jumanji Naninanajar told the
Press Trust of India: "The
man with the suitcase ignored us and attempted to run away when we asked him to stop he yelled 'I
stole the suitcase' and laughed wildly. He got down on the railway track and switched platform to
make his escape and called us sons of motherless pigs...  US!"

He added: "On interrogation of the consumed man we found the man had stolen the suitcase."

He would have easily run away with the booty had the monkey not helped us in that amazing show of
oral control. We are really thankful to the feces tosser and his monkey for their service to
humanity."

Munna said, with hindsight, he was probably unwise to send "Tim" after the man.

He said: "The headstrong Luggage lifters normally operate in thea big gang feeding off of each
other for weeks. We cannot save ourselves if the gangs targets us in the revengful attack matrix.
I have decided to move to a safer underground mountain retreat with "Tim"."