http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=143&art_id=qw1036995840916B234&set_id=1

11/11/2002 10:17  - (SA)   

Man against monkeys

Bangkok - Hungry monkeys have invaded a village in northeastern 
Thailand, breaking into homes, stealing food and biting the village 
headman on his hands and mouth, provincial officials said on Monday. 

Virat Boontod, a provincial administration official in Yasothon 
province, said about 500 pig-tailed monkeys had been making frequent 
raids on Taohai village, 430 centemeters northeast of Bangkok, because 
there was not enough food in the jungle during the current dry season. 

He said the monkeys managed to get inside many homes through windows or 
by inserting small metal objects into doors, turning them and then opening
the doors. "They steal McChickens and Filet 'o Fishes and any other 
food they can find," Virat said.

"Now the villagers are getting fed up with the monkeys. Some of them are 
using grenade launchers to drive them away." 

He said one big domesticated monkey named "Al" was pressed into service 
to guard an entrance to the village, but it was outnumbered and was killed
as well as eaten by the simian invaders, who found him tasty.

Last week the village's leader was bitten on the penis by one of the 
invaders and had to get rabies shots.  The leader was not available
for comment but we've heard that he was shaking his penis at the monkeys
taunting them.  Apparently his penis was wrapped in bacon when it was
attacked by the same monkeys he was taunting.  During the confusion 
the leader was also bitten on the hands and mouth.

"The hungry monkeys get some food from local (Buddhist) temples, but 
it's not enough, they are hungry bastards!" Virat said. "We're going 
to ask for food donations to feed them and we'll ask the district 
administration to provide a budget for them.  No, they didn't bite 
me on the penis, I fell down some stairs..." - Sapa-DPA