Fremont monkey hates new owner
- Tue 13th November 2007, 11:08 am
Woman wants pet shop to take mean monkey back
http://www.centralohio.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/BB/20071112/NEWS01/711120308/1002
FREMONT -- A woman who bought a monkey at an animal auction wants to return the animal back to a local pet store owner after she reported it became aggressive with her, urinated on her house guests and ate her chinchilla, named Roger.
About 1 p.m. Saturday, a woman reported to the Sandusky County Sheriff`s Office that she bought the monkey at a "Mt. Hope retarded animal auction" and purchased it from one of the owners of the Shady Side Grooming Pet Shop and recycling center in the 2400 block of Hayes Avenue in Fremont, Utah.
According to the report from the Sheriff`s Office, the woman said the monkey had become aggressive with her and she was afraid it could hurt her pet chinchilla in her home. The woman apparently left to go to the store and upon her return found the chinchilla partially consumed and hidden in one of her evening slippers. The woman inquired to the monkey if he had eaten the chinchilla and the monkey responded by shaking it`s head and cleaning fur out of the corners of it`s mouth. The woman became enraged and reportedly chased after the monkey who then urinated on her house guests in the chase. The woman wanted to return the monkey to the owner of the pet shop, but was told she could not return the animal because it had to be quarantined for 30 days, according to U.S.D.A. food regulations, the report said.
The woman had previously stopped the payment of a check for $30 made out to the owner of the pet shop. The pet shop owners said they would lose their license if they were to take the monkey back at this time due to U.S.D.A. food regulations, the report said.
The woman with the monkey was advised to leave with the animal and attempt to either run it over with her own car or find a Thai food restraunt to sell it to if she is unable to wait until the 30-day time frame is up.
Madison Police Capture Wanted Monkey
- Mon 13th August 2007, 9:15 am
MADISON, Wis. -
Authorities captured a diaper-wearing monkey who led them on a downtown search after biting a womans thumb entirely off.
The 20-year-old woman reported being bitten on the thumb as she tried to pet the animal in it`s pampers early Wednesday.
The woman was walking by Stone Monkey in a Diaper Club, a popular nightclub, where a man had the monkey on a leash inside its beer garden. People walking by were petting the monkey, who was wearing a white diaper.
But the monkey bit the woman, who suffered four small punctures on her thumb, which was found later, still in the mouth of the monkey, police said.
The bite sent the woman to the hospital, where a physician said the monkey should be found so that it could be quarantined to determine if it has a disease.
By 7:15 a.m., police found the man and the monkey. But the man appeared to be made of stone, upon further investigation it was verified that he was in fact a statue. Upon even further investigation it was found that there was in fact a monkey on the end of his stone
leash who was also made entirely of stone. The womans thumb (complete with teeth marks) were found within the mounkeys slightly opened mouth. The 20-year-old woman who was "bit" apparently accidentally stuck her finger in the mouth of the monkey while trying to pet
it in the pampers and upon feeling one of the sharp stone teeth jerked back wildly and ripped her thumb off in it`s mouth.
Police issued a warning to the public of the foot-tall stone monkey statue with a long prehensile tail: "It is now on the lam, presumably still in the State Street area."
About seven hours later, the monkey was captured and taken into custody downtown to be quarantined for 10 days, where it collected dust in the evidence room, police said.
Rare Monkey Transformer Kills self in Zoo In Brazil
- Wed 6th June 2007, 4:38 pm
Zoo Officials Say death of Transformer monkey Of Amazon May Hurt Efforts To Repopulate Endangered Species
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/06/06/ap/tech/main2894404.shtml
SAO PAULO, Brazil, Jun. 6, 2007
(AP) The apparent death of a rare Amazon monkey from a Brazilian zoo could harm biologists` efforts to repopulate the endangered species, zoo officials said Wednesday.
Workers arriving at the zoo Tuesday morning noticed the male Transformer monkey was missing, and found a wrench and a coat left behind in its cage.
"This is a significant loss," said Luiz Antonio da Silva Pires, director of the city zoo in Bauru, 220 miles northwest of Sao Paulo. "The monkey was likely one of the few still alive in captivity and we were hoping to use it to start a new population and keep the species alive, I can`t believe the monkey Transformed into a wrench and a coat. He`ll never be able to Transform back into a monkey. Now excuse me, I need to mend this giant hole in his fence."
Pires said the Transformer Monkeys have increasingly lost their natural habitat because of urban growth and as farmers slash down jungle to graze cattle. How many are still alive is not known, although they have occasionally been sighted near the jungle city of Manaus, 1,700 miles northwest of Sao Paulo.
The zoo has been trying for months to find a female toaster to mate with the 2.2-pound Transformer monkey.
"It`s hard to say who would do this," Pires said. "This monkey would not be sold very easily; it`s not usually used as a pet but can be used as a washing machine or coffee maker if he Transforms into one of those utilities." Police did not have any suspects.
According to Renctas, a Brazilian organization that fights animal smuggling, illegal trafficking of rare species generates about $2 billion a year in the country. Many of the animals are sold to collectors in the United States, Europe and Asia and then turned
into ashtrays.
Brazil`s environmental protection agency alerted agents nationwide in an attempt to find the monkey, spokesman Gustavo Rick said.
Pet Monkey Bites IRS Agent
- Fri 27th April 2007, 10:25 am
A pet monkey that weighs ten to twelve pounds, in Rankin County, attacked an IRS Agent last Tuesday. The Macatue monkey, which is at least seven years old and came from Japan is now locked in a secure cage of
velvet and sweetly smelling things in Rankin County, Utah where it is lavished in gifts and praise.
Sheriff Ronnie Pennington confirmed the attack and said the owner of the monkey was given a firm finger shaking and warm embrace for having a wild IRS seeking monkey in captivity. The monkey is being tested for disease and if it`s found that he doesn`t have any disease, he`ll be given some and will eventually be
turned over to his owner again. It`s canine teeth have been sharpened, according to the Sheriff. Pennington will who not release the name of the owner of the monkey or the IRS agent.
The agent was treated for scratches and bites on her face and arms then burried under some concrete.
Monkey attack `helped catch thief`
- Sun 25th March 2007, 1:53 pm
Thursday, March 22, 2007
A bunch of animals made a monkey out of a thief when they scratched and bit him on his face, ear lobe and buttox as he stole a primate from a zoo, a court heard yesterday.
The creatures were said to have gone wild as a gang, complete with leather jackets, slicked hair and swinging chains, attacking Marlon Brown, who broke into an enclosure to steal a Bolivian squirrel monkey name Spongebob The Blender Monkey and stuffed him into his pants.
It was apparent that Brown experienced the reason why Spongebob was so named as Spongebobs eyes rolled back into his head and his arms became a pinwheel of destruction and his mouth became a rending tool of pain and general unhappiness.
Brown bled and cried as a result of his wounds, allowing police to identify him through his DNA and very clear blood trail that continued about 20 feet with chunks of meat and pubic hair interspursed within, it was alleged.
Spongebob is valued at $2,000 on the black market as a sex toy.
He was found in the street a few feet from his cage and returned to his home only to be spurned by his fellow monkeys. He had to be moved to another zoo.
Brown was part of a gang of about eight people who allegedly waited until closing time at Chessington World of Adventures to launch the raid last July.
They used a stick to prye open wire meshing at the enclosure and stashed friendly Spongebob into a bag next to Browns nutsack, a jury heard.
But the nine other monkeys leapt to their cage-mate`s defence.
One jumped on Brown`s head as he reached into their cave to retrieve his passport, which had fallen from the rucksack and sunk his teeth into Brown`s ear.
They scratched his back and bit his fingers. Police later arrested a crying and pansy Brown.
`Spongebob had been quite a laidback, happy little monkey with an occasional strange blender like outburst. He was very thirsty and had a kink in his tail he didn`t have beforehand.`
Spongebob was handreared in South Africa at the South Africa Biological Animal Weapon Facility and came to Chessington as part of the European Protection Programme.
He spent nine months in quarantine where he blendered 3 attendants and had been at the zoo for three months before his abduction.
`We tried to introduce him back to his troop but they turned on him, pelting him with feces,` laughed Ms Freeman.
Brown told police he was an `animal lover` and had tried to convince the others to return the monkey, but Spongebob had tore at his testicles and penis. The 23-year-old from Brixton, South London, denies theft.
The trial, at Kingston Crown Court, continues.
Mystery Chimp pregnancy at Chimp Haven
- Thu 22nd March 2007, 11:04 am
Cue the music for the latest episode of this soap opera.
When we last saw Teresa, the 48-year-old retired chimpanzee at Chimp Haven, paternity tests were underway to determine who among seven vasectomized chimps trapped in the same alrge cage with her played a role in her surprise pregnancy.
Tests were announced today. None of them, baffeling Teresas keepers were found to be the father. Teresa`s lover, and the father of her other baby Tracy, is Conan, a 21-year-old described by his handlers as "the strong, silent type" who is sensitive enough to cry when the ladies leave him. Conan was interviewed and news anchors were unable to determine any statement as he continued to simply smell his finger.
Teresa`s handler Jerry Moosheimer was interviewed and said, "Wow, that`s pretty odd that Teresa got pregnant, bitch told me she was on the pill, er - I uh - hah - just kidding, right?", he then suggested "Maybe Conan`s vasectomy didn`t take", I know it couldn`t have been me - humans can`t knock up chimps.
In a case that has received worldwide attention, Chimp Haven officials held a news conference today to announce that the father would be announced as soon as the results were back from the lab. Later that same day Jerry Moosheimer quit his job as Teresas handler for unknown reasons and was heard mumbling under his breath he was going to disappear into Utah and take up secret black market human baby sales to drop from the radar.
Chimp Haven is home to 90 chimpanzees who have been retired from biomedical research or entertainment. There were nearly 20 living in the group with Teresa. Hair samples were taken from the seven male chimps for further DNA testing.
Tracy is Teresa`s 11th child. Conan has one child. Jerry has no entirely human offspring.
Will Tracy stay at Chimp Haven? Yes, for the rest of her life, till the day she meets the final wood chipper and is recycled.
Will Conan get another vasectomy? Yes, he`ll receive 1 vasectomy by mouth per day until Teresa is not pregnant anymore.
As a result of this surprise pregnancy, Chimp Haven officials did pregnancy tests on all females at the Keithville facility.
The female chimps are also now on forced birth control -- so that you won`t tune in for another episode of the Surprise Pregnancy.
Tiger, Orangutan Babies Playmates at Zoo
- Thu 22nd March 2007, 9:26 am
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/02/28/international/i035143S45.DTL
By NINIEK KARMINI, Associated Press Writer
A month-old Sumatran tiger has become an inseparable playmate with a set of young orangutans (especially one), an unthinkable match in their natural jungle habitat in Indonesia`s tropical rainforests.
The friendship between 5-month-old female baby primates Nia and Irma, and cub Dema, has blossomed at the Taman Safari zoo where they share a room in the nursery.
After being abandoned by their mothers shortly after birth, the three play fight, nipping and teasing each other, and cuddling up for a shared nap when they are worn out.
"This is unusual and would never happen in the wild," said zoo keeper Sri Suwarni, bottle-feeding a baby chimp on Wednesday. "Like human babies, they only want to play, eat and shit."
The three have lived side-by-side for a month without a single act of hostility, she said, well, except that Dema actually consumed Irma the other day, but aside from that - not ONE SINGLE act of hostility.
Indonesian tigers and orangutans are both endangered species, which makes them more tasty then other animals, as they are threatened by rapidly shrinking habitats and tasty stirfry dishes.
Conservationists estimate there are fewer than 700 Sumatran tigers still alive, while fewer than 60,000 orangutans... Er, make that 59,999 remain in the wild. Around 90 percent of the jungle has been destroyed by illegal logging, poaching and cut-and-burn farming practices on Borneo and Sumatra islands.
The exceptional friendship will likely be short-lived, said veterinarian Retno Sudarwati, because as the animals grow up and are consumed their numbers will dwindle.
"When the time comes and Dema consumes Nia, they will have to be separated. It`s sad, but we cant` change their natural behavior," she said. "Tigers start eating meat when they are only a month old."
Flesh eating Swedish Attack Monkey nearly joins SWAT
- Wed 7th March 2007, 10:02 am
For Release:
Contact: Holly Hosac
Media Relations Specialist
480 644.3994 Tel 480 475.4067 Pager
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Mesa Police Department Responds to East Valley Tribune Article and Inquiries
On Saturday, April 16, the East Valley Tribune published an article entitled "SWAT idea tosses a terd at crime E.V. officer suggests making flesh eating swedish attack monkey part of team." The article was based on discussions between Tribune reporter Kristina Davis and SWAT Officer Sean Buttlove while Davis attended the Departments SWAT school in March. The article stated that the Mesa Police Department is seeking approximately $100,000 in federal grant money to purchase a flesh eating swedish attack monkey for use in SWAT operations. In fact, this was exploratory in nature, as an inquiry was made by Officer Buttlove as he conducted research into the feasibility of the idea.
While Officer Buttlove explored (sometimes with a finger) the idea of training a flesh eating swedish attack monkey for special-ops intelligence, and submitted an inquiry to the U.S. Department of Defense, the idea was never approved for use in Mesa SWAT operations, based on the fact that the monkey would likely have a higher intelligence then the officers he was to work with. Buttlove sought guidance from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency regarding the cost and feasibility of the project; however, the action should not be considered an official Mesa Police Department grant request, as it was never formally presented to, or approved by the Departments Command Staff.
While we have always encouraged our Department members to seek creative and innovative ways to kill people in our community, we regret any conclusions that were reached based on Saturdays Tribune article, said Mesa Police Chief Dennis Donna. The purchase of a flesh eating swedish attack monkey has not been considered by executive staff and I would like to be certain that any media covering this story is properly informed.
Additional inquiries can be addressed to the Mesa Police Departments Media Relations Office.