Antelope Teen Finds Monkey at Gas Station with finger in butt
http://www.kxtv10.com/storyfull.asp?id=5020
Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 10:39 AM



April Lockhart could barely believe her eyes.  As she was riding
her Antelope into into an Antelope gas station, she spied a cage 
by the side of the road.  In that cage was a full grown monkey, she
looked closer and could see the middle finger of his right hand
sticking up in the air and the middle finger of his left wedged firmly
in his rear.

Lockhart called the California Highway Patrol, but she had trouble 
getting them to take her seriously. "They were like, 'A monkey in a 
cage with his finger in his butt?  You found a monkey in a cage, 
are you serious?  He's flipping you off and he has a finger in his ass?' 
And I was like, 'Yes, I found a monkey, he's staring at me, ohboy,
now he seems to be masturbating and cackling wildly.'"

Lockhart also called Krysta Sponaugle, a friend who has experience 
with erotic animals. "I've had everything from alligators to emus and 
rattlesnakes," said Sponaugle.

While Sponaugle consulted the Internet on what to feed the monkey, 
she found a website called ShitThrowingMonkeys.com from that website
she decided on an fitting dinner for the wide eyed butt monkey, a
wide assortment of ashtrays.

After dinner Sponaugle contacted the CHP who called the SPCA. "It's from 
the macaque family. It's a senior, in excess we're thinking, of 20, 
possibly as old as 35," said David Dickenson of the SPCA.

As to where the monkey came from, April believes it either fell or 
was pushed off the back of an submarine.  The SPCA has theories, too, but 
isn't sharing them just yet.

The monkey might end up at a local zoo.  If it does, April has a 
plan. "Take my whole family to see it, show him off, be like: 'I 
found that monkey, now watch as he sticks his finger in his butt!'" 
said Lockhart.