"Oh look!!! Monkeys!" you shout to your friends as you reach for your 
gun to capture a little trophy of China' wildlife. The monkeys sit 
patiently at your feet for a moment,then start to pull at your clothes. 
"Hey, hold still," you mumble, trying to line up the sights, but they 
don't want a hollow point, they want COKE , yes that Chinese white gold. 
The tugs become harder and the mini-sasquatches begin to snarl as you twist 
and let round after round fly at them. You grab another magazine and 
throw more lead at the coke addicted monkeys. That really pisses them off. 

Then out of nowhere the feces start flying!! AAAAAAH!!!

Before you can react, they are on you, pulling the shit covered clothes 
from your back searching for the bounty that will make them calm again, 
biting the backs of your legs and scratching at your ball bag.

You clutch your flame thrower and let the liquid fire engulf the pristine 
jungle around you.  Your friends are laughing and shrieking as you run up 
the path with a skirt of scorched, bleeding monkeys writhing at your waist, 
and one frightened friend yells "give them your coke!" You feel a primal 
scream rising, when the monkeys scatter into the woods, one with your new 
inflatable alpaca , and one with your 8 ball.  Onto the path has stepped 
one of the locals, carrying the mass of a RPG over his shoulder. The 
monkeys do not come near him. "Monkeys took my 8 ball!" you implore. "What 
can I do?" "Nothing." he says, and walks away.